Social media seems to be just about everywhere these days. Whereas people used to stand next to their friends and chat with them, now they’re deciding how many of the ten different bands on Myspace they want to allow to friend them. And how long has it been since people sent their messages through a phone, using that antique thing people used to call “their voice?” These are just the possible musings of people who predate the current fixation with social media and excessive reliance on technology. Let’s take a look at some of the new realities that social media is imposing on family life.
Consider how about only ten years or so ago, kids used to beg their parents for cell phones. Do not feel old if you can remember when they used to beg for pagers – that was only 20 years ago. But now, it seems like the latest smart phone grows out of a child’s hand around the age of 12. Consider how much more open it makes communications between parent and child when they can message one another through their social networks of choice at will. Parents cajole and badger their children until they are friends on Facebook, and then communication becomes more than just texting them when it’s time to come home.
Through social media, a kid can arrange a lot of things without arousing any overt suspicions. But whenever someone writes something on the kid’s profile wall, it’s in full view of the parents. But if the kid decides not to have a wall, that can also arouse suspicions of its own accord. The whole thing is a slippery slope.
Consider how much kids used to be able to hide from their parents, simply through not talking to them. The party coming up in a few days that’ll certainly involve no supervision and tons of substance abuse? Unless there’s a very strict code of silence or some excellent euphemisms bandied about, parents have a leg up on finding out about it that they never would have had in the past. And once something like that has happened, the kids had better disavow it Mission Impossible style, or the pics of them draped over the toilet with the shot glass still in hand will be seen sooner or later.
Basically, parents can spy on their kids in a way parents of the past would have killed for. But of course, the parents themselves had better stay beyond reproach, unless they would like a “good for the goose, good for the gander” style of argument when they bring up a child’s less-glorious deeds.
Granted, parents will probably only tweet “business appropriate” things. But kids who tweet (which isn’t too popular yet, but may grow in popularity down the road) will probably end up saying the darnedest things. Consider what would happen if a parent had access to their kid’s random thoughts and recent activities (that they’re trying to brag to their friends about) 24 hours a day. While you might not be this connected yet, technology follows a familiar path: “Wait a few minutes, and everything will change again.”
Annie is a stay-at-home mom and social media strategist for Mobile Phone Finder, the free online tool helping families keep in touch.
Thanks for the great article. You make a very good point to parents about their use of social media “good for the goose, good for the gander”.
Good to read article! For me, it is really depend on a family background. In my side, my family did not really influence by Social Media since they did really open there account every time (Good for me :D)
Oh Boy, you had better be careful 🙂
This is a great post for those with children at home. hugs
Thanks for stopping by Katherine, much appreciated!
My baby, I meant toddler now, is 2 and a bit and it already fully functional on an iPad so I can only imagine (and probably not fully imagine) the connectivity she will have with others. If our parents can catch on to video chat, we should be able to follow through with technology advancements as well hopefully. Hopefully all this won’t replace actual human interactions!
As parents, We do need to keep up with the technology most importantly to keep the kids safe. I don’t think we can allow it to replace real human interaction.
Agree with Annie. Social media can be out of control, more for kids, for them is a game – the problem is when this game start offline with unknown persons.
The better way is having fluid and opened conversations with them 🙂
Cheers,
Gera
I agree Gera. Communicating openly and honestly is the best way. I always set limits and tried to stay ahead of them on the technology. My youngest is 23. I have access to all of his accounts – email, facebook, banking, even today thanks to open communication.
Annie, This is great advice for parents. My children are adults now but I am very aware of the dangers there are online. You are right that following your children’s online activity is a necessary means of protecting your children. My 30 year old daughter keeps an eye on her younger cousins. When she’s felt it necessary, she’s said something directly to them. For example, my 14-year old niece innocently posted a profile pic that was a little too sexy and our 18-year old niece posted her address an announced the date and time of her graduation party. Both of these actions were innocent but both could have repercussions.