Posts Tagged ‘ funny ’

BUTT (but) n Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.” Male: What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning.
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What better a way to honor Dad this Father’s Day than with a bit of humor! To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years. – Ernest Hemingway A little child in church for the first time watched as the...
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I am one of those people who prefer the self check out cash register especially when I am short on time. It makes absolutely no sense that I continue that preference. Why do I say that? Seems as though every time I choose the self check out those dang barcode scanners fail to read...
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Hearing a department store clerk address the lady as “Ma’am,” four year old Jennifer asked what that meant. “Ma’am is short for madam,” her mother replied. “It’s a polite way to address a woman.” Jennifer asked what name Daddy would be called. “Sir,” mother answered. “Sir …” she thought for a moment, “that must...
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Phyllis Diller is, in my opinion, the original domestic goddess and queen of one liners! Born to an insurance man in Ohio, I thought it most appropriate she kick off  my Funny Friday! Phyllis Diller – Age: Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. My mother-in-law had a pain beneath...
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When men handle insurance affairs: ‘You ought to feel highly honored,’ said the businessman to the life insurance agent, ‘so far today I have had my secretary turn away insurance quotes from seven insurance agents.’ ‘Yes, I know,’ replied the agent, ‘I am them.’ Life insurance agent to would-be client: ‘Don’t let me frighten...
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Are you a Mom of all boys? If your answer is yes, you have to check out the interview with author Sharon O’Donnell! My boys are grown now however, had her book been published while I was raising them, I would have bought it in an instant! This is too real and very funny!...
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What, you ask, is ‘Butt dust?’ Read on and you’ll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot...
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